Taking it day by day.

I decided to start this blog in addition to my other one….  I wanted one just about my married man.  Nothing to do with my husband and our issues.  Just one about my affair.  I feel like a lot of my readers of my other blog didn’t comment or read or care too much about my life at home…. they wanted to know about my affair, my choices, my feelings and my situation of loving a married man.  So I decided to have one blog that I write about everything and one blog that I write about the most amazing nearly two years I have ever known.  No man made me feel the way he did.  No man has ever listened to me the way he did.  No man has ever made me blush, smile and laugh the way he did.  I just don’t get it.  Why people come into our lives when they do? Post by post my, our, the story will unfold. Maybe someone will see that I am human.  I don’t want to say I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong, I just at the time was so sad and so hurt and so needing to feel love and be loved that I didn’t care.  I truly had intentions of only keeping it online which we did for just over six months… it just grew… got to be too much… too many feelings.  I listened to my heart and not my head. Do I regret my actions?  Yes and no.  I regret hurting his wife.  I regret letting his kids down and affecting the friendship our kids had (get this), together.   I regret not upholding my commitment to my husband and ending it the ‘right way’ being that it is truly bad enough to do so, even before my affair.  I regret not kissing him goodbye one more time because I didn’t know the last time I saw him would be the last time I’d see him.  But I do not regret the time.  The love… the feelings… the experience.  It truly was the best love I have ever known/felt.  And you will never convince me that it was anything else… Two years of sharing.  Two years of excitement to share what we were  going through, what we were experiencing together, two years of laughter, two years of emotions that can’t be described.  Those feelings, those emotions, just don’t go away.

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6 thoughts on “Taking it day by day.

  1. “No man has ever listened to me the way he did.  No man has ever made me blush, smile and laugh the way he did.”

    This made the strings pull on my heart. I have recently found true love. There simply is nothing like it.

  2. Try 5 years… It’s hard, trust me i know, i lived for him 5 years, no husband, no kids nothing, Him my whole universe the way he made me laugh, and cry and laugh again, he is the greatest love of my life and the last. It hurts that i wont be able to say i lost my virgnity to him since he refused to take it “morals” or so he says. GAWD this is just too much…

  3. Your blog keeps making me cry more and more. Not sure if its a good think as it would be better for my marriage if I hated my AP, but though part of me hates what happened (the lies, and betrayal, the pain we caused those around us) I really don’t hate him.

  4. I just started reading your blog. I can so relate – 5 years for me and all of a sudden something, I still don’t know what, and all communication ceased.

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