How wonderful he was. I mean he is.

So I am sitting in bed with the TV on in the background.  I put the kids to bed and love the quiet.  No my husband isn’t home, (but that is normal).   I love when the only thing I can hear is the clock ticking and the tapping of keys on my laptop.  I went to dinner tonight with my girlfriend.  We have a restaurant  here called the Yard House.  It is super amazing.  They have this fabulous light beer/malt like drink called a pear cider.  Super light and super yummy and after two of them I feel relaxed… three or four would have been nice lol (with a ride home and no kids), however I have the role of mommy to play tonight.  I sat there listening to the loud music remembering how I invited HIM and his wife to come to dinner with my husband and I there.   I remember watching him sing along to the loud music that fills the place.  He was in a great mood, his wife was having a good time and all I could think about was him.  My husband was late from work (surprise, surprise) and going to meet us there and his kids had to go to the bathroom a couple of times and his wife took them.  We would glance at each other wishing we were alone.   I could get lost in just looking at him.  I had to be careful.  I was so worried that his wife would catch me staring.   I don’t know how it wasn’t obvious because I would almost NOT look at him, avoiding him practically worried she’d see through me.  Realize I loved her husband.  I didn’t mean to love him.   I thought it would be a week (maybe) of conversation.  I never imagined that conversation would go on for a year and a half combined with amazing meetings.   Amazing in person conversations.  Long wonderful amazing conversations.  About nothing yet about everything.   Everything that moved me and nothing that mattered yet held my attention.  I miss the lazy, no rush, no hurry feeling.  The feeling that he had time for me no matter how much time it took.

You know how you have heard about heart strings?  The saying that something ‘pulled’ on your heart strings?  Well I understood the saying and understood what people MEANT when they said that saying but when I met him and fell for him, I KNEW for a fact the way that saying FELT.   When he would leave my heart physically HURT… I felt that tugging.Image

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