Its not impossible

If he really wanted to talk to me he COULD find a way right?  He WOULD find a way right?  Regardless of having a job or not right?   I think I am being stupid to think that he isn’t calling because he can’t.  If theres a will there is a way.

Thing is he has my extra cell phone.  He said he’d mail it back months ago.   I can understand her keeping an eye on him but I highly doubt she never leaves his side where he couldn’t send one text that says: still out of work… thinking of you often.  I need help on how to just assume its over.  Just walk away.  Three months it has been.  If and when the email comes or the phone rings it will.  Until then I think I need to wake up from the amazing dream that came to an abrupt nightmarish end.  Why does it have to hurt?


4 thoughts on “Its not impossible

  1. Believe me, I could SAFELY contact her if I chose. Easily.

    but honestly, I made a decision — and I guess so did your man — and to keep contacting her would only serve to undermine my decision. To keep “hope” alive in her, and to keep her (and me) from moving on. While it’s painful for her and for me, I cannot contact her. Even when I have the urge. It would turn back the clock.

    To be honest, what he’s doing is a gift. yes, a gift. He’s helping you to get past all of this by keeping himself from you. If he contacted you periodically, where would it lead? to nowhere good.

    As the song says, “I will remember you…will you remember me?? don’t let your life pass you by…weep not for the memories.”

    I’m not sure it’s about him not wanting to contact you. It’s him knowing that when it’s over, it’s over, and knowing that the best thing for the both of you is not contact you. Ever.

    I’m sorry to put it that way, but I’m sure that’s what he’s thinking. Not contacting you is not a sign that he doesn’t care. Or that you never mattered. It’s an acknowledgement that he’s trying his best to move on in his life, and hoping you do the same, even if part of him doesn’t want that.

  2. believe me, I miss her. Sometimes badly. I have come close to sending her a message and hitting send. But I’ve stopped myself.

    It will only interfere in the recovery of our lives. And it would be further disrespect to my wife. I don’t want to hide anything anymore. No more lies. No double life.

    And no keeping hope alive in my ex-OW. No matter what she did to me when I terminated it, i still care for her. And my gift for her is that she moves on with her life and finds love and happiness. So I contact her NOT because I don’t care, but because I do. And because it’s part of me leading an authentic, honest life from now on.

  3. May I just say I remember feeling this way about my MM. Never thought I would because honestly I picked him cuz he was “safe”, he was married so I had no worries about getting hurt since it would never get serious. We ended things when I left the job we worked at together and I remember crying..crying over a man I had no right to cry over! I told him about my pain and all that I was feeling, something I never do..never allow vulnerability Beverly cuz it will come back to haunt you! Him being the good man he truly is married his short time girlfriend when she got pregnant and tho I would never ask him to leave her or discuss it, we both knew that we wanted to be together. At the first of this year I decided I would never be someones number2 ever again and I moved on, him and I chat occasionally on fb til one day, after I moved on (so he be with him now if he was single but I cannot let him know that)he messaged me and said “I know what I had when I was with you and I wish I would have seen it then I miss you” my response ” well hon you know how I feel and you know if you get divorced my arms are open. I am by no means waiting on you but if the day comes and I am still single, then maybe we can start over”. Nonchalant..acting as though I don’t care. Seems like that’s when all his feelings finally appeared before me in words and not just touches. So maybe, just maybe, if you fake it til you make it, it will help you. I am sorry for your hurt and would never judge a woman for this..not one that went into it knowing she didn’t want to split a marriage, feelings happen and it sucks when they happen at the wrong time. Faking it til I made it got me thru to where I can see him and not feel a pang in my heart, seeing pics his wife post on fb of them two no longer is like a punch to the stomach.. know this comment is a little late but I hope you are well!

    • Thank you for your comment. All of it is so hard. Thank you for understanding. The only ones that seem to get it and not judge are those who have been there. Thanks for reading!

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