And just like that my heart has been crushed and thrown back to the way I felt in October. There was a little red circle next to google chat. I clicked on it and it was his name. I instantly felt dizzy. The words “ARE YOU THERE HONEY?” laid in his conversation bubble on his side of the screen. It was time stamped today but an hour earlier. He was no longer there. The tears started at that moment and haven’t stopped since. What am I going to do. I can’t do this, but I want this. I shouldn’t do this but I need this. I can’t hurt anyone but I am hurting myself. What do I do. I only want to talk to Recovering Wayward. Talk me out of this. Help me with this. What would you do?