I have an appointment with my attorney. My divorce attorney. I can’t write anymore. I am having second thoughts, third thoughts, and 23rd thoughts. I can’t make him come home. I couldn’t MAKE him come home the nearly two years PRIOR to my affair. I will never find happy if I keep waiting for him to wake up and find his happy.
I have managed to lose two men that I loved more than anything in a three year period. OH and lets not forget the first husband I divorced and the H.S. sweetheart that died while I held his hand. I fucking rock with men. I just want a man to love me the way ‘HE’ did. I want a man to work for what he wants like my first husband always did, and I want the goal setting abilities that my current husband ‘had’ and I want a man to be all mine the way my high school love was before cancer took him.
Walking away, remembering all the good in all of them and not looking back.
Life is looking pretty lonely. I need to focus on my kids. And only my kids.