I can’t sleep tonight, story of my life lately. My husband is sleeping next to me. I have watched Jay Leno, tried to read, took a shower, and now I guess I am going to blog. I am exhausted so I won’t even know if this makes sense until tomorrow. So we, (my husband and I) talked. I told him my fears of him working out of town and bunking with the pot user. If you don’t know what I am talking about please read “TRUST” two posts prior to this one. He says he understands my feelings. He said he was one step ahead of me and talked to his boss (who was our best man in our wedding). His boss totally understood and swapped the rooms around where he is in a room with his boss and not the pot head. Sorry that is rude. The pot head lol has a name, but we will call him PH. 😀
Anyway tonight I got this email, (I’ve copied and pasted):
I just wanted to let you know I am proud of you. You have been through a lot the last four years. I want you to know I am stepping up to be an encourager for good choices while your husband is away from home. I watched your husband make horrible choices regardless of my suggestions on behavior and right from wrong over those same last four years. I want you to know I think he hit rock bottom. He approached me and asked for a raise “to prove to his wife his desire to help more and be the man he should have been from day one”. I didn’t deny him a raise. I gave him a pretty substanical raise to encourage him. Outside of being my employee, he is my friend. When your husband met you, he was head over hills, he talked about you the entire day while we were working. A few years into your marriage his own business (as you know) flew off the ground, causing him to leave me. I lost my best empolyee that day. I don’t know exactly what happened but in conversations with him he made horrible choices he said. Choices he feared he could never make up to you. He begged me about two months ago for a job back and a raise. I granted him both, just to encourage him. I talked about my wife and family every second I had, every time I knew he was with in ear shot. I just wanted family to be in his mind and in his heart. He started working harder, coming in earlier, staying later, asking me how he should approch you a final time to make your marriage work. I just kept telling him “show her, don’t tell her”.
I’m writing you this email because he made a HUGE step today and I thought you should know about it. He came to me and asked me to bunk with him while we are out of town. He said he didn’t want to be around _____________ becuase of his drug use. I have never seen ____________ use and he knows damn good and well I better not see him use or I will fire him, but your husband seems to think he will do this after work hours. He teared up a bit saying he couldn’t mess up with you again. He has seen over the last month just how much he had hurt you by not being there for you. I will bunk with him I told him. Please know when he is away from you I will be encouraging him to be strong. We will talk about family. I will ask him about his kids. I will help you in this. I think that is my role when I said I’d be his best man. I don’t think it just was a ‘job’ for your wedding day. I saw your hope in him. I can’t believe how long you waited for him to ‘wake up’. I am so glad he did.
Your a good wife. He knows it. We’ve talked and he knows that it would be easy for another man to fall for you because there aren’t many women out there that are as kind, patient, understanding, hard working, independent business owners, that can stand on her own with five kids with out a man providing for her. As messed up as this sounds, I am glad you did what you did with the man you met. I think seriously that is what woke him up. Don’t be embarrassed that I know. He begged me for his job, tears and all saying he was going to loose you for good if he didn’t wake up and somehow quickly become better than ‘the other guy who at this point deserved you’. I had an affair. My wife was an alcoholic (well once you are you always are) but she threw her entire life away and I waited for her to quit being stupid and choose her family. She has been clean now for nine years but we had three years where it was bad. A year of that we were separated and I made some choices. I don’t regret them, they kind of helped our situation, I had to be happy. I had to find happiness somewhere because I was so hurt and raw that she would let her behavior and actions rip everything that I loved apart. People do things to move on. To feel better. To get to the next part of their life. Trust me he isn’t angry at you. He blames himself for your actions. I know you and I know your personality, I know you would take all the blame for this, but trust me, it wouldn’t have happend if your husband would have been there as he should have been, and he knows it. He is trying. He is trying really hard. Thank you for believing him, even if it truly is the very last time. I’ve got his back while he is away from you. I won’t let him mess this up. He loves you. Very much.
Your a good woman, C!
-C <—– my husbands boss.
Wow. Ummm. Just wow is all I could think. C had an affair? C has my husbands back? C is feeding him ‘family talk’. C thinks I am a good wife? C thinks his job as my husbands best man extends into future issues? HOW FRICKING AWESOME! My heart is at peace my dear blog readers. Right now I feel very blessed.