Going oh so slow.

I for some reason am not really in the blogging mood today.  I am feeling exhausted.  Who knew emotions could be so draining.

So we set some rules.

He wanted to forget the past, forgive it and move on.

His request:

No talking about stealing from me (pills) and blaming my daughter for it, and no talking about the affair.   His point is we both know the story inside and out and we are both hurt from each issue.    I don’t know that not talking about it will solve anything but he seems to think it will solve having an argument.

But we all know in the heat of an argument that might not work so well… we will see.

I am asking myself should I lock up my meds, (I bought a safe) or should I trust him?  I don’t want to offend him but I don’t want to tempt him either?  Thoughts?

Things that are weird:

My moods on being cuddled/held and having sex shift constantly.  I don’t know if and when that is going to go away.  I love him so much, but I am so so mad and hurt still.

As far as the rest of it, it is going pretty good.  The intimate stuff is just tricky.   And I have been crying a lot.  I have no idea what that is about.  I am so emotional.

I hope all my followers are having a good day!   Take care and I’ll hopefully feel more like blogging tomorrow.  😀


7 thoughts on “Going oh so slow.

  1. I have just now started reading your blog, my first read was your visit to the lawyer and your husband asking you to try again. I cried, I held my breath and I found myself wishing my ex would walk in and cry, hold me and ask for another chance and then I realized; he did; almost exactly like your husband. Like you I was spinning, crying, scared, ecstatic, hopeful, nervous. Making love was passionate but strange somehow. He did and said all the right things, everything I had prayed for and never got for years. It was my dream come true.

    I don’t know the whole story but from the comments I assume there was a lot of deception and mistreatment on his part before you ever had the affair. Be kind to yourself.

    I think couples counseling would help, I think it is almost a necessity if you two are going to work this out.

    Within 30 days of my ex coming back I knew he hadn’t changed but once I had let him back into my heart it wasn’t so easy to “just walk away” and I started giving more 2nd chances until 2 years went by. Well I finally did leave him, after those 2 years and physical and emotional abuse that left me totally depleted and far. Worse off than before.

    Please be careful, and most of all trust your gut instincts; they are never wrong. I wish you all the best; I truly do.

  2. I’m a little torn. Part of me thinks maybe leaving those volatile issues alone will aid in healing as there will be less arguing perhaps. But if he’s merely suggesting ignoring something that hasn’t truly been dealt with then that’s all kinds of not good. One can’t simply pick and choose which topics are safe and which are not. The whole big mess has to be dealt with. I do agree it’s dumb to beat a dead horse though, so if you are willing to set aside certain aspects of the past, then it might make sense to do so.

    I guess I’m rather sensitive on the subject since my ex refused to take responsibility in ANYTHING. His idea was “if we don’t take about it, it didn’t happen”…which just pisses me off.

    Don’t bury anything under the rug. But if you’ve dealt with them as best you can, then yeah.. maybe its ok to set them on a shelf.

    And use the safe. It’s better for you… better for him.. Peace of mind for the both of you. It might be wise to discuss that your pills will be in there. If he has ANY objections to it, then that’s a red flag.

    …. just my two cents, dear. *hugs*

  3. Hope its not too late to reply to this. Having struggled with addiction to pain medication and I’ve been in therapy for 4 years for it, lock them up. It is such a strong addiction. I have days I’d give anything for pills to take away my emotional pain. But I can’t, I know that. But if they were in my house I don’t know if I would be strong enough on my worst days.

    • It has nearly destroyed us. It is never too late or too early for you to reply… you are so funny you start all your comments by saying, YOU CAN TELL ME TO SHUT UP NOW or HOPE ITS NOT TOO LATE lol! You are fine! I love the commenting!

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