Wouldn’t you know it…

I know I did wrong in having an affair.

I know by putting myself out there people were going to judge me.

I didn’t start blogging to have others feel sorry for me.

I did however blog to vent and heal and whatever.

So how dare you judge me… if you don’t like what I write, simply don’t read it.  I’m fine with your opinions… I get it.

I’m asking for comments.  Fine.  I have a lot of followers/commenters/bloggers that are on ‘the other side of this situation’.

I respect them, they have helped me to.  But her comment was so hurtful and mean.

“I think its funny that you titled a post trust.  NO one should trust you.  You not trusting your husband is called Karma for your disgusting actions.  You just want people to feel sorry for you to justify you having an affair.  I hope your husband wakes up and fucks another to show you first hand what you did to your husband and the married mans wife.”

I don’t get many of these comments but when I do they bother me.  Why wouldn’t they?  I’m human.  The funny thing to me is they are not perfect.  I’m pretty sure they’ve made choices in life that weren’t the best.


My story is different.    I didn’t just go out and sleep with someone with a loving devoted married man at home.  Drugs, being absent for YEARS was part of this…. does it make it right?  No.  But last time I checked judging others is a sin too.  But whatever.  If it floats her boat to be such a judging, hateful person then judge away if you feel better about yourself at the end of the day.  Oh and what you said about Karma, that you are right about, Karma will come back and bite you in the butt for judging others!  


10 thoughts on “Wouldn’t you know it…

  1. I understand. I dealt with some of the same. Some people have their own issues and are just using us to vent their frustrations. Maybe they are a lousy spouse or gf/bf and someone cheated on them and left them. Maybe they can’t get anyone. Who knows? But don’t let it bother you. I mean, do any of these people really know you? You’re not obligated to keep their idiotic comments. It’s YOUR blog. You can do and say what you wish here.

  2. Let ye without sin cast the first stone, some pretty famous guy said that. Sounds like someone has been hurt and that in itself is sad, but that is no excuse for attacking someone else.
    If you don’t like it change the channel.
    I like your channel and hope this all comes together for you :).

  3. One thing i know for sure is that is not easy to cheat… Usually one does not just randomly sleep with another man if they are so in love with their husband/boyfriend… Its more for the emotional comfort right? It was to fill a gap that your husband could not. And i get that , i totally do. And i have also noticed that in so many of your posts you acknowledge the fact that you know what you did was wrong. But as i said it takes alot to cheat, so you must have been really pushed to the edge. I know how ugly addictions can get. A family member of mine is an addict and i can tell you this, i know how heart wrenching and horrible it is. And anyone who judges you does so only because they have NO IDEA what its like…. before you judge someone try and understand what they are going through. Life is not just black and white, right or wrong. There are no simple decisions to be made. We are all human, and we make mistakes, and we learn from them.
    So never ever judge anyone unless you know what they went through and how they felt. Life is no fairy tale….

  4. Being one of your followers on the other side, I agree with you. I’m not perfect, far far from it. I’ve done so many wrong things. Things I regret so much.

    This is why I made my post the other day about having empathy for the wayward spouse. It doesn’t excuse the affair, but I’m trying to understand the cause behind it, so we can fix it. As well as having empathy helps healing, for BOTH of us.

    In Not “Just Friends” by Shirley Glass, she talks about the stages of love and talks about the three stages. The 3rd stage it says:

    Stage III: Couples achieve a mature love with mutual respect and acceptance of defects. Couples who empathize with and accept each other after an affair often achieve this type of reality-based love.

    It doesn’t mean we forgive and forget, it means we learn and mature and grow from this experience. It doesn’t mean that we absolve ourselves from our lifetime of wrong doing based on their affair.

    I believe there are some cheaters who don’t care at all about who they hurt. But then there are people like you, who do. Who care about who they hurt and are trying to make it right. And that? Is something to be proud of. It would have been easier to say “fuck it!” and walk away, but you didn’t. You’re remorseful, and you’re repairing what you broke.

    So…screw the haters.

    -from a betrayed spouse.

  5. Life is very complicated and each person has a different path and sees life in a different light. Life is a great teacher. Empathy and compassion are some of the hardest lessons to learn. If only there were a book that explained what each of us feels and the reasons and solutions to all the ails us. Since I have’t found that, exploration must continue. I think your journey has value and as you grow and live and love, you are experiencing life at its best.

  6. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being brave enough to tell your story. Ignore the haters, as some would say.

  7. I tried to comment on this yesterday but WP was being weird and wouldn’t let me . I was appalled to read that you were judged so harshly via comment. This is your safe place. So don’t write for them, the naysayers. Write for you, because you enjoy it. Write because it helps. And to hell with the rest. Those who can read with an open heart and mind will continue to, and comment appropriately… No one is completely innocent. No one. Hang in there… I love to read your blog!

  8. Oh sweetheart, please just read the comments, dont give it much thought and just remember that those people that are saying that it’s karma and so on, don’t know what is also waiting for them around the corner, So they are judging you but they dont know what life has in store for them down the road, may be some of them their husbands and wives are having affairs and then what will happened? so just go on your merry way and take what helps and let the rest go you are going through to much to let small minded people stop you on your way to a successful healing and loving marriage!

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