left again tonight for another five days. This sucks.
Its almost like there is so much to do during the weekend from him being gone an entire week that it is impossible to have any one on one time. I miss him already and he only left five hours ago. We had a good weekend. I slept so good on Friday and Saturday night and he let me sleep in both days. I have been having such issue sleeping.
Today I felt bad. My husband was truly in pain, (having a gallbladder attack) and it instantly puts me in a shitty mood. It instantly puts me in a mood of being angry and irratated. How sad. One should be sad and concerned if their spouse is hurting. It instantly makes me doubt him.
How bad is he REALLY hurting?
Is he really hurting at all?
Is he really in pain, or does he just want pills?
I feel bad. I feel guilty kind of. How long will it take the hurt of all that to go away?
I told him today I am sorry if I didn’t seem sympathetic to his pain, it just happened to bring up feelings of him taking my pills and lying about it, and it lead to you leaving for two years because he got so addicted. My doctor said it is the hardest addiction to kick. My doctor also said the problem with this kind of an addiction is, there will be a time where every person who has been addicted to pain pills is in pain, needing medication… which is where the cycle starts.. so they have to really pay attention to how they treat his pain. I felt bad for him because you could tell he was hurting. But it still brought those feelings out in me.
When he left on his trip he took the advil, and the heating pad, but didn’t say one word about pills. I am proud of him. He is still bunking with his boss. That I am happy about.
The end. I’ll blog more tomorrow.