Dear the other man that I love,
I wanted to tell you goodbye. I no longer cry myself to sleep. I no longer leave a room to cry behind a closed door. I no longer cry when a limo drives by. I no longer sob when I drive by ‘our hotel’.
What I do however, is remember you. It brings a smile to my face now. You taught me a lot about myself. You saved my marriage.
I just felt like I wanted to write you a letter.
I am not mad about you telling your wife. I think things come out when they need to. It was probably on your heart the entire time to share with her what you were feeling guilty about. I hope you two can get back to where you were in the very beginning now that big stressors are gone, like new homes, court situations, unemployment, (I am glad you are working again btw). I hope the biggest stressor, infidelity can be worked through.
I will never regret you. I may regret the ‘way’ we went about doing things. Thank you for letting into your heart, if only for a short time. Thank you for showing me a side of you that you show so few. Thank you for the HOURS and HOURS of heart felt conversation we shared. Thank you for making me realize what I deserve in life. Thank you for the best hugs. Thank you for all the memories. Every single meeting and conversation was amazing. Every topic, every joke, every moment. Even the things that when I see or hear will always make me think of you.
I realize how much being happy with you got me through that year and a half. My grandma dying, all the court stuff with her will, my marriage, my oldest’s behavior, my marriage, life in general, getting my new car, and did I happen to mention my marriage? 😀
Thank you for the love, the kindness, the companionship, the conversations and most of all the memories, because those will never go away.
I will always have a place for you in my heart. Always.
P.S. limos, the moon, certain songs, baseball games, black ties, valentines day, certain hotels, your smile, your soudless dance, red rocks, country clubs, using tortillas as napkins, the ping of an email or text message or yahoo chat, the statement keeping you, throwing cold water on you in the shower, your smell, your hugs, your cold hands, all of it, will forever be burned into my memory and heart.
Take care, do right, love your family and adore your wife. XOXO, Ti amo, e io non ti dimenticherò mai. Mai.