I don’t understand why he pings into my life one day before my world hits rock bottom.
I told you that Friday he sent me a message asking me to get online. I ignored it.
Saturday I went to a dear friend of mine’s birthday.
She went into the house and came out with a HUGE water gun and went after all of us. I went running across her yard and stepped in a hole and rolled my ankle.
I left the party. I couldn’t even walk. My husband was a huge help, but he looked worried. I assumed it was because I hurt my ankle.
I knew it wasn’t broke, so I didn’t go to the ER. I’ve done this before and since I’ve done it once, its easy to redo it because the tendons and muscles are weak from doing it before.
The pain got too bad.
I got up to get my prescription pain pills and they are both over half gone.
My husband just started crying.
I am so hurt. Devastated. Angry. Pissed. Mostly at myself because I had been locking them up, helping him not to fail but when we went to our cabin I took them out and with us. Because I get really bad headaches at the elevation of our cabin. I think he knew that.
So in a weeks time, this weekend to last, he took 30 percosets and 29 Dilaudid’s. (SP).
I give up. I don’t know anymore what I am supposed to do.
I want to be more important to my husband than pills. I just don’t understand addiction. We made it past the 30 days that my husband wanted to try, and I feel further back than day one of starting over.