Date night.

We had a date night.

We went to Snow White and the Huntsman.

Mixed feelings watching a love story.

This is so hard.

I am avoiding posting because I don’t want you guys to have to deal with how down I am.

Maybe this isn’t what I want.

I don’t know.  We just have both hurt each other so much.  I love him.  I do.  I care about him I do.  I just can’t seem to let go of the YEARS he was gone.  I can’t imagine ever loving him the way I used to.

I have good days and bad days.

We walked silently back to the car after the movie it was just awkward…

that awkward silence.   I don’t know what to do.   Without the kids everything is so quiet like there is nothing to talk about.

What am I going to do?

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11 thoughts on “Date night.

  1. Give it time. Give yourself some peace and quiet so that you can think not just with your head, but your heart.

    If you need to stay away from here to figure things out, then do it. Do whatever YOU need for YOURSELF. If you need our support for your depression, then blog. We’ll listen to it.

    • I wouldn’t really say I am depressed, I’m just down… I guess that might be the same thing… I still smile and laugh and it helps to have people here to talk to… I just feel like when I blog I am saying the same things over and over and I’m pretty sure that gets old to listen to.

  2. You can’t expect the hurt to go away instantaneously. And maybe you won’t love each other the way you used to…and maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe you both need to find a new healthier way to love and respect each other. But I am happy to hear you are taking your first steps to try. Hang in there.

  3. Oh that must be so difficult… I have no authority to advise here but perhaps try not thinking about the past for a few moments a day. When you’re together just look at him as if he was a new man. Notice what you like about him… give it time to sink in.
    I had this moment with my husband a few days ago, where I’ve just let myself look at and listen to him. That was new.

      • No probs. You know, I’m far from idealistic in those matters and I’m not saying things will suddenly change when you do that. But something did switch in me that day… I don’t know, it make me feel warmer inside.
        I think one of the biggest challenges of any relationship (certainly mine), is time, routine, same thing every day. I have nothing to complain about and a husband that everyone I know either overtly or covertly envies me. So? I still have the same needs as everyone else, to try new things etc. I still meet amazing people that mess with my mind and heart (and I let them).
        So no recipe from me… just a suggestion – give it time. And WANT it. That’s the most difficult thing for me. And when I one cried to a friend of mine about my situation, and asked him why he’s not helping me when he knows what’s going on, he simply said – you have to want it to change first. No amount of reasoning on my part will do any good if you do not decide in your heart you want to let go.
        This shut me up, and I’m starting on my way to ‘letting go’ and actually wanting to have my husband as the only person in my life.
        …that was long…. but keep writing. It helps.

  4. You KNOW what I think already….and you’ve got my email if ever you need a sidebar question answered. k?

  5. Still can’t watch a love story or even share certain music with my spouse. Too triggering. And silence. I get it.

  6. I havent watched tv in a month. I cant listen to the radio. We have a digital photo frame that is full of happy photos. It is turned off. I have to sit outside all the time because I can’t stay in the house.
    I get it, too.

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