So today not much is different.
My husband is still out of town for work.
We have texted here and there but nothing major.
Now my anger has turned into hurt.
I just feel with him out of town that I am back at square one.
He isn’t here.
And we aren’t really talking.
It was this mood and these emotions that after two years lead me to do what I did.
My girlfriend asked me if I ever miss ‘HIM’.
If you have a heart, and you are human who wouldn’t?
Who wouldn’t miss someone who made a bad call and had an affair, but loved you more than anyone ever has?
Treated you better than you have ever been treated?
Listened to you when you cried?
Laughed with you to the point of tears?
Danced with you outside of a limo to the soft lights coming from the country club that stretched across a golf couse that you walked along?
Wrote you the most loving, caring and thoughtful things? Showed you what love and emotions and feelings were suspposed to feel like?
****TAUGHT YOU THAT EVEN YOU, (ME) a good person, with a heart can mess up and make a bad choice, a choice that can and will teach you that nobody is perfect and we are NOT encouraged to just fall in love with who ever we want to even if it is VERY possible. *****
Why would I miss him?
I don’t know but there are days, like today, that I do.
Days when I don’t feel loved.
Days when I don’t hear from my husband.
Days when my anger thinks he would put aside the safety of his family over whatever was in his truck.
Days when Waywards and Wendy’s words ring through my head:
Wayward: “These days happen, they are hard, stay strong”
Wendy: You BOTH have some work to do. See your issues too, not just your husbands. And quit thinking about HIM, HE is not an option”.
I am hearing you BOTH loud and clear. Trust me. It doesn’t make that ache go away OR my husband come home.
But I am so glad that I am hearing your words in this situation. Thank you both.