Every little thing is different.

He came home.

He kissed me.

He said I pulled away but I didn’t… or didn’t mean to or didn’t end the kiss early.. I don’t know its like EVERY thing is just different.

We talked at dinner with the kids but we were kind of quiet.  I don’t know, its like Every little thing is just different.

We put the kids to bed and I checked my phone.  I responded to an email from the school board I am on.  He asked me who I was talking to.  My affair makes me feel like I have to explain myself in areas like this.  So I explained what I was doing, why I was replying who I was replying to.  He asked why now at 10 o’clock at night.  I said because I just saw it… I’d rather do it now and be done with it.  And he sarcastically stated, again, at ten o’clock at night?  Fuck my life.  YES AT TEN OCLOCK AT NIGHT because at a NORMAL time I am fucking busy with kids and life.  He didn’t say anything else about it..  I don’t know, its like EVERY little thing is just different.

We had sex.  It was nice, I haven’t seen him for a week, but It wasn’t amazing after not seeing your partner for a week.  I don’t know, its like EVERY little thing is different.   We were just about asleep and he drew his finger down my side as he said:

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but when it comes to you, (pause), I don’t know, its like EVERY little thing is different.
I think I felt my eyes roll.  NO SHIT.

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5 thoughts on “Every little thing is different.

  1. You are going to have to discuss when you are angry with him or when you have certain feelings about him that aren’t good. You can’t leave him in the dark to figure it out for himself. Don’t hang onto resentments….get them out into the open before they become more than just a feeling. You don’t want to let these things stew until you have enough reasons to hate him and get rid of him.

    And stop comparing his every move, his every word to HIM. Stop waiting for him to meet those expectations. Maybe you aren’t doing this consciously, but I am sure you are somewhere in the depths of your mind.

    • Actually I have been doing very good at NOT comparing. I won’t lie that was very hard to do in the beginning, but I am not doing it now. We did talk is the thing. We are discussing everything…. its just being absent from one another is making this emotional gap bigger I think. Trust me we are working on it. I don’t know in this post what made you think I was comparing him…

      • I didn’t mean every little thing is different between them. I mean lately every little thing is different with my husband…. HE is different. To the point that I am wondering if he is using again… like you said something was in his truck that day. I am not thinking about HIM in this at all. Just so you know 🙂

      • Nothing in THIS post made me think you are comparing him, but I guess your recent post about meeting up with HIM in the hotel made me think that you still think about moments with HIM. That you still reminisce.

        I am glad you are talking about things with him…I’d like to hear more about your discussions.

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