I want to make it work with you.
You who keeps hurting me.
You who chooses little white pills over my big red heart.
You want me to think only of you,
that is so hard to do when you often are gone.
You want me to only want you,
that is so hard to do when you hurt me time and time again.
You want me to remember the us we had.
That memory is fading, it seems so long ago and like an entire different life.
You want me to change for you, and forget HIM,
You want the high that comes with destroying your family.
You want me to be honest about my feelings for HIM,
You want to lie about your addictions.
You want both worlds to work for you, your addictions and your family to work together,
and we are supposed to sit back and watch you ruin your life.
You need to realize I am so close to moving on.
I miss that feeling of being happy.
I miss the wanting to put someone ahead of myself, because of caring for them so much.
I am so scared to love you fully that you will trample the only tiny bit of my heart left.
I was pissed to find the lock to my safe all scratched up.
Yep, I noticed that.
You just need it so bad.
There is nothing in there. I flushed everything.
I wonder if you got in and found the empty bottles and the note to you.
“When you do this stuff do you think of us at all?”
Might explain why you left Saturday and I haven’t heard from you since.
I told you. You’d run when what you needed was no longer here.