One of my good friends came into my house this morning with his son. My husband and I have been REALLY good friends with him and his wife for years. He apologized to me for just dropping in but he needed a favor. My son, (my youngest), is their son’s best friend. Our boys do everything together. We often take each others kiddos just to do play days and hang out. I said to him sure whats up, what can I help with. At this moment when he looked up I was mortified. He clearly had been crying, his eyes were swollen and red. I sat my coffee down and the words, “Oh my God Mike are you alright?” came out of my mouth. He sat down on my couch and I told his son that my son was downstairs in the playroom and he quickly ran with excitement in that direction. Just at that moment Mike put his face in his hands and started sobbing. I jumped up grabbed tissue and handed it to him and sat back down to hear words that sent me in disbelief. “She’s leaving me, she has started to pack her things and move them into another mans house.” All that could come out of my mouth was “WHAT?” He continued, “Yes. She said she’s been checked out of our marriage for a year so finding someone else didn’t seem wrong. She said this man makes her happy, and makes her realize there is something more for her in life.” He looked up at me and clearly the horror was all over my face. I felt like I was going to throw up. This was that ‘perfect’ couple. A huge home, (that they JUST bought months ago), he JUST bought her a brand new Cadillac escalade three weeks ago. I just didn’t see it coming. He said, “she wants to live with him, and I understand marriages end but I don’t get one thing.” He said he found out that this guy is a sex offender. He said he told her she could have half of everything, but his kids will not be around this guy and she understood. He at this point is sobbing like I have never seen a man do. She is willing to not only give up her husband, but her kids. Just. Like. That.
Now. I understand marriages failing, (I do). I understand affairs and how they can ‘just happen’, (I do). I understand falling out of love with someone, even if they are perfect in everyones eyes, like Mike. Business man, works hard for a beautiful home, nice cars, sends her to the spa twice a month, they go on a “MAJOR” vacation twice a year, they foster a child to give ‘some child out there’ a better home. I understand that ‘things’ don’t make a marriage or people happy, but this man tries. His favor he needed was to know if I could watch his son today, (I work from home) and I obviously said yes. He said I can’t even think. I can’t stop crying and I don’t want him to see me this way. He said his daughter was at school all day. I said I would, I said I’d pick up his daughter too that he could pick them both up after dinner. I hugged him and he seriously was trembling. My heart is so broken for him. He walked to his car head down and I watched him wipe his eyes at least four times before driving off.
So being fair I called her. All I said is, “WHAT IS GOING ON?” At first she played dumb like I knew nothing. Then she realized Mike had been here. She said to me that she didn’t know. She met a man TWO WEEKS AGO and she is happier than she has ever been. Life is simple. Life with him is fun. He lives in an appartment in not a very good area. I asked about him being a sex offender and she got VERY quiet. I said to her, I am speaking to you as a friend here, you better be VERY careful. I said you know what my job is and if I know, or find out he has been around your kids I am REQUIRED by LAW to report it. I have no choice. I continued to say I understand more than anyone falling out of love. I understand more than anyone loving someone you probably shouldn’t. I don’t however, and will NEVER understand you telling your husband you would willingly give up your kids because of him being a sex offender. I can’t be friends with someone like that. I can’t. Your kids are first. How can you foster a child (which happend to just be placed back at home) so that you can provide them a good home and then take that good home/sitaution from your very own children? I said I do not know what you are thinking and the sex can’t be good enough to give up your children. This fling is going to pass over and you are going to feel like an ass and have no ground to stand on. You are going to lose all kinds of family and friends and you will have a sex offender/fuck buddy. Your husband is DEVISTATED. You are very close to ruining the lives of your children. You are looking pretty fucking selfish to me. TWO WEEKS?!?! TWO WEEKS? I felt like a peice of shit for having an affair with a man I met and talked to for six months, after my husband had been gone and in and out of jail for TWO YEARS. So trust me I’m not judging you on what you are doing. I’m judging you on the kind of mom you are very close to being. She yelled at me saying this man is not a sex offender because he raped some two year old. I looked at my phone like I was hearing her wrong. She informed me he is 33 now, and when he was 31 got a 15 year old pregnant and has a two year old daughter with her. Beautiful. Fucking Beautiful. You are a stupid, stupid bitch. I don’t understand your priorities. YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST, and their safety.
I hung up… I am so angry. KIDS MATTER MOST. ALWAYS. A SEX OFFENDER? REALLY? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! My poor friend Mike.