Some of your comments on my last post are ringing true to my recent thoughts. I’m so ready to leave. To the point of looking at houses and looking at my finances. Luckily, (and I’m not bragging), I make good money. I don’t let what I make go to my head because I understand and respect that anything can happen. Can I afford to live on my own? I have before, and I made at that time less. So yes. What is it that I am hung up on?
The hope he will get better.
Faith he will change.
Oh God, am I scared to walk away. Still see him laying in a ditch. I’d rather live unhappy than have my kids think he died b/c I left.
And lets not lie. When he is clean, when he is focused, he is a good man. He is funny and kind and loving and amazing.
But the good is starting to outweigh the bad.
Being with HIM (as shitty as it sounds) helped. Helped me feel whole. Wanted. Needed. Adored. Appreciated. Loved. Happy.
So do know I am thinking about it. And usually when I am thinking about something I am close to acting.