Oh where or where has the author gone… Oh where oh where can she be?

I’m  here.   I’ve been so sick.  I swear I’ve been sick for two weeks.  I still have an ear infection that will not respond to antibiotics.  Crazy!  I’m trying to stay positive and not complain.

So I got an email from someone and I don’t ever talk about the emails I receive because I respect the things you guys tell me when we have conversations back and forth.  But I can share her story without giving it away because it has SOOOO much in common with so many emails I have gotten.   She was me in the beginning.  Hated men that cheated.  There was no excuse.  Angry at women who  had affairs with married men.  Well anyway her husband had an affair and after losing most respect for him found herself getting close to someone at work.  She, (as I was), was shocked at how innocently and easily it all started.  Talking, laughing, popping in to the others office to say hello and then wanting to know more about them and ‘planning how’ to bump into them to just have someone to talk to. She said, (like me), she felt safe having this person to talk to because like her HE was married too.   And over time, she grew to care about him and one thing lead to another.  And she said she looked at how judging she was to her husband.  She realized how easily it could start.  She said she originally hated the other woman until she was one.  Funny how that happens.  Like I said never judge because one day it could truly be you.  She said, (AS DID I), that I would never have an affair.  I would never cheat.   And look.  Now we are in the same boat.   I love the emails, and I never speak of them but I have heard this story, this version probably 20 times.  We all say we don’t know how it happens but it just does.    Now what does she do?  I told her to let me know if she figures it out. My suggestions were start a blog, and try TRY to not talk to HIM.  Easier said than done I know.


12 thoughts on “Oh where or where has the author gone… Oh where oh where can she be?

  1. I do not agree—im not judging but I know from experience that you do have a choice—-it just does not happen—–you can walk away—I did–he did—–I will always love him but we never acted out on our mutual attraction—-we were married,had kids, and took our vows very seriously—–adultery was not a choice for us,we hated the thought of being called cheaters—-we could not inflict that kind of pain on our families—-there was never any question as to how we were going to act——-we said good-bye

  2. Oh, it starts innocently enough; that is why you lower your guard. You feel safe. Glad to see you back in the blogosphere – I missed your voice!

  3. many of us out here, men and women alike, we’ve been the wife and we’ve been the other. glass houses, I tell ya, glass houses. love you, hope you start to feel better soon. let me know if you need anything via email, happy to help!

  4. in 2012 I think I had something like 6 or 7 ear infections, stretching from January through October. The one in October was a real pisser – turned out is was a fungus (Aspergillus Niger) that came in as a super-infection. Have your doc check for that too.

  5. “I will always love him”. Jules, you are strong, but I’d still say you had an emotional affair by anyone’s definition. The good part is you were able to stop it before it was discovered. 🙂

  6. I hear you loud and clear as far as being sick goes. On top of everything else I caught some sort of bug that has lasted over a month.
    As far as affairs go – it takes 2 to tango – the guilt can be impossible sometimes – but mine is going on year 14. I knew from the beginning he would never leave her and I have never asked. Lord so much to say not enough time and space………………life

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