Some days are sunny, some are quite stormy. I find myself reading emails from people I have never met all over the world in situations similar yet different like I was in. They are in tears. They are confused. They are on all sides- either the other or the spouse. It doesn’t surprise me how many people fall into this situation when you find out and realize how easy it can start. It shocks me the amount of ‘reasons’ people make the decision to have an affair. Lack of sex. Lack of communication. Addiction. Loneliness. Abuse. There are so many reasons and I have heard them all. I’ve heard the stories that someone didn’t know he or she was married and they found that out on their own. I like when others email me. I am a very social person and I love to email back and forth. I love being someone who is here for others who are going through this nightmare, (yes its a nightmare). I wish I would have had someone to talk to. There is no middle place when having an affair. You are either on an extreme high or severe low. I was ecstatic with HIM and miserable with my husband. There was no so so. I always suggest to these people going through this to blog. Blogging has been such an amazing help! You get the people to talk to that say, “I know how bad it hurts, I have been there!” And you get the other people that help you realize that there are so many who get hurt in this act. Blogging opens your eyes to all sides of a situation. Sometimes you need help from others to see those sides. I am not yet at a place to say I wish it never happened, because I don’t feel that way. I think I learned a lot about love and feelings and emotions and myself. I think I learned a lot about what I want and what I deserve. I think I learned a lot about how I should be treating my husband based on how she treated her husband. I think I learned a lot about limits and respect. I think I learned a lot about where innocent conversation CAN go and how easily it can become not so innocent. I realized how an affair can end as quickly as it starts. I for sure learned how many people an affair can affect. This almost four years has taught me so very much. If you find yourself in this boat my suggestion would be to row to calm waters and just think, read, write and have conversations with people who have been there and done that. Every boat is the same, and floating in the same waters, You are either going to make it to solid land or sink. Take the advice of others and learn to swim. While sinking or coming to shore you should know how to float with or without your ‘so called boat’.