Life.

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Step by step, day by day.  Kids, sports, school, work, cleaning, car repairs, TAXES (STUPID IRS LOL), marriage and the rest of life.  Last night I slept on the couch I was so angry with my husband.  Well thats not totally fair.  I’m LIVID with my mother in law.  I thought men were supposed to have mother in laws from hell.  Not wives.

My parents took on my step daughter as their own grandchild when I married my husband.  She was the moment we got married a part of this family.  My parents would never ‘not include her’ because she isn’t REALLY their grandchild.  She became their grandchild when we got married.  Right?  One would think.

My husbands mother informed me a couple months ago that she is giving the grandkids, (there are three of them) graduation gifts of a trip to Hawaii.  I thought how exciting for my husbands daughter, my son and my sister in laws son!  Awesome.  OH no!  I was quickly put into place that my son from my first husband isn’t her grandchild and my son would not be going.   I  was hurt.  Livid.  Pissed.  You name it.  I decided to blow it off.  Whatever.  I went through a phase of being pissed at my husband for not calling his mom out on his shitty-ness.   He just said “well he really isn’t their grandchild”.  Fine whatever.  I let it go.   However, I can’t seem to get angry without acting like a child so I decided I wouldn’t invite them to his graduation.  He isn’t their grandchild.   I know, two wrongs don’t make a right but I was hurt.   My son and my husbands daughter go to different high schools.  Well fast forward two months… to now.  My step daughter has dropped out of school, moved in with her boyfriend, written everyone off and basically gives us the big fuck you when anyone tries to talk to her.  So last night was a normal night.  Dinner, homework with all the kids, mellow, NORMAL.  When the phone rings.  It is my mother in law.  She has decided that because they already bought the ticket they are still going to take my step daughter to Hawaii.  Blood shot to my head.  My step daughter has done nothing but lie, steal, cheat, manipulate, drop out of school, get knocked up you name it and we are going to go and reward her anyway?!?!?  NOT TO MENTION here is my son who COULD use the ticket (which isn’t why I’m mad don’t misunderstand) who is graduating on time getting good grades and then going off to the Navy.   Instantly I start sobbing.  How can two people that call themselves family be so hateful and unkind.  When I said I would like them to not take her for many reasons, one being a huge slap in the face of my nephew and son who DID graduate and do what they were supposed to do.  Second, what is she going to learn from that?  You can do everything in life that is frowned upon in life and still get rewarded?  Should kids not be accountable for their choices and actions?  At this point I wasn’t even mad at my husband until his next words.  I said, “My parents would never not include your daughter in something!”  His reply, “Your parents couldn’t afford to do something like this for our kids anyway.”  First of all that isn’t the fucking point.  Second of all my parents have money but they aren’t rolling in it like your parents from lawsuits and being sue happy assholes.  So I’m mad at everyone.  My husband then says I think you just need to go to bed.  I think your pregnancy hormones are getting the best of you.    Sigh.  Needless to say I hate everyone.  Maybe I’ll pack up MY kids and go to Hawaii.

Am I over reacting?   And yes.  I’m pregnant.  I just found out.

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Come to me.

Come touch me.

Come take a taste of me.

Come, let me please you.

Come please me.

Come and see what we used to see.

Come and feel what we used to feel.

Come and let me remind you of the way things were.

Come and let me dance my fingers along your skin.

Come and explore what has faded.

Come and remind yourself of highs.

Come and forget your lows.

Come and forget everything around you.

Come and just remember,

remember me.