Good night, sleep tight, don’t let loneliness bite. 

It’s quarter to eleven and I’m feeding the baby.  Her room is dark except for the dim lamp and quiet except for the rain sound machine.  As I rock her I sit here thinking about you.  I have a husband asleep in my bed.  Oblivious to the jobs of parents.  Homework was done, lacrosse and volleyball practices attended, dinner made and baths given.  Laundry folded and put away.  Counters wiped down as kids packed their backpacks for the next day.  Reading was done and birthday love was given all as he just slept. You see he is in pain again  and on more pills I assume and has missed another day.  So last but not least I rock my tiny 5mo old to sleep crying alone. I’m so tired of doing it by myself.  It’s not that I can’t and it sounds so selfish.  I just want something to look forward to when the kids are in bed.  That quiet alone time with a partner, the one you adore.  I haven’t had that for years, 7 at least.  So I rock her.  Thinking of you. Wondering if your night was good. Wondering if you had help. Or wondering if you did it all alone too.  Wondering if you’re doing the last minute things before bed and thinking of me.  Wondering why we stay or why we try.  I just don’t know anymore.  I hope you’re sleeping. After all it’s 11pm and when tomorrow comes we get to do it all over again.  Goodnight babe, I wonder if the moon is breathtaking tonight?  I haven’t looked in awhile.  

Xoxo. 

-Your Other 

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3 thoughts on “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let loneliness bite. 

  1. Wow! Reading your blog and I so can relate . I know writing must help the heartache but don’t know how to get started. Reading your blog, I relate so much and would like to reach out to you to help start…More importantly I admire your strength and courage. I too, feel that void and wonder so muh daily about him. I wonder if he misses me and thinks of me….so hard. Thank you for your blog . It has helped me and I hope you could guide me so I can write and heal. I also have loved the moon such a beautiful thing and would always tell him to look at it. Sometimes I feel like a death is easier .. Because they are gone and you can’t ever see them….nothing has ever been the same …thanks again…I will wait to read your next post.

  2. I have spoken to you before regarding my marriage/situation, in which it was the exact same as yours. I have been married for twenty years. I am 39 and have one daughter with my husband. I wanted to report, that after feeling so alone, asking to be treated like a wife, not only a friend, ask to be shown love and affection, with no results. Don’t get me wrong, he is a wonderful man and father. He just does not know how to show love and affection and make me feel like a wife or a woman, and after all these years, I feel as if I deserve more. I still love him and we are great friends. But with a husband, I need more than only a friend. I met my “other” two years ago. If I made a check list and wrote all the qualities I wanted and needed in a man, I could mark every single one of them in this man. He is the most kind, caring and loving person I think I have ever known. Our relationship has grown, and I will skip the last two years of the details, mainly to save time, but I would like you to know I have left my husband in January. My other and I have moved in together and the past four months have been the most wonderful, and fulfilling I have known in so long. It was not an easy decision, and I do have days of guilt from breaking up my family, but we have been very open and honest with our daughter and let her know it was a mutual decision with her Dad and I. All of us are fine. Its an adjustment emotionally on all of us, but in the end, I feel it was the right decision we made for our happiness. I wish all of you the same!

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