(Picture from Google Images)

Tonight I’m in the bathtub as I blog. Wacko I must be. But I do a lot of thinking in here. The kids are in bed. Dogs in their crates. Dishes are done. Laundry was folded. I tried to read my book, but can’t seem to take in what I read.  My head isn’t in it.  I ordered in Chinese.  I twirled my noodles around on my plate with my chop sticks listening to my kids laugh. They’re my world. My poor 11 year old.  She’s making my heart worry.  Tween years are so hard. They’re not little like kids but they’re not big like teens.  She’s so mature for her age.  She’s a state lacrosse player.  She’s really good. I’m not just saying that because I’m her mom.  She has straight A’s in school.  She’s a tomboy for sure and it’s making life hard for her right now.  She doesn’t fit in with the girls because she’s not like them. But the boys want noting to do with a girl. She’s kind of by herself right now and it makes me really sad.  The principal says the boys get upset in gym because she plays nearly all the sports better than they do. This was told to me when I went in to talk to him because the top boy athlete asked her why she’s so good at sports and asked her if she was a lesbian IN FRONT OF SOME OF THE BOYS!! Now, I have nothing against anyone who’s gay. Nothing.  I support gay marriage completely. If you’re a male, in love with a male that’s great. If you’re a female and adore with all your heart your female partner awesome.  You have my support.  But to ask that question to a girl who struggles daily with who she is and how she should fit in is wrong at 11.  To make matters more confusing my mother in law IS gay. So my daughter asked me after this incident if that was genetic.   My poor daughter.  Now. I work with kids everyday. I have all kinds of education on child development and kids in general.  Was it bullying? Maybe a little but the principal says he watches my daughter get plays abs touch downs and baskets and home runs when they can’t. I realize that’s hard for a boy to constantly be outdone by a ‘girl’ but come on!!! My heart just hurts for her.  We’ve talked a lot about great female athletes and female role models and how her sexuality is not something to decide now.  Lacrosse starts back up in a month and I can’t wait. She’ll be around other girls her age that like sports and are as good and better than she is.  Get her mind of the kids at school.  Ugh. My husband has been in bed for hours. His galblader is bothering him. Or so he says. It’s always something. 

My bath water is cold.  More on this later. 


2 thoughts on “Tomboy

  1. Boys go through much more of an ackward stage at that age than girls do. Perhaps you could let her in on a little “secret”. That the boys are just frustrated because their bodies aren’t working the way they want them to and they can’t understand it. They lash out at her because her natural athleticism still works. “Why isn’t she going through an ackward phase?” And since they can’t compete with her now, their only recourse is to get her to leave the playing field. “Shouldn’t she be worried about girl-stuff and not sports?” And maybe the best way to make her stop competing is to make her feel BAD about competing. But how to do that? Hmmmm… Make a negative association with competing! That’s it! Call her a lesbian!

    The truth is, they are jealous of her. She should be proud of her abilities and someday the boys won’t be competing with her but will want her on their team! The boys just don’t know that yet. But now she does.

    I was also a tomboy. I lived in a small town and I was faster, stronger and taller than all the boys in my class when I was 11. The first boy who tried to kiss me I punched & gave a bloody nose. He had a crush on me all through high school after that. Lol!

    But we didn’t know words like “lesbian” or “gay” or “ADD” back then so they couldn’t hurt me with words the way they can with your daughter. She should feel sorry for them and their pathetic attempts to make her stop being better than them. When they call her names, tell her to lift her chin, smile at them & think to herself,
    ‘Poor, poor ackward boys.
    Hating that I’m better at playing with their toys.
    Their voices squeak & they have unwanted hair.
    Oh look! Is that a boy or a bear!’

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