You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own & when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise & selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything… affects everything.
I do understand the impulse. The impulse to put your hand out and want someone to be there at the end of your reach. To want someone to be close to. To want to kiss, talk or touch even if it’s wrong. Almost always, you can’t control these feelings, even if they’re wrong, they’re still there. They’re always there.
Being Her, (the other woman)... 
I love how brave and bold you are to share your deepest feelings on here despite the ridicule you might receive. It’s more important to have a place to vent than it is to be loved by people who don’t know and don’t understand. You have my attention always, and my prayers that things will go well…and I get it that there will be ups and downs. For all of us. It’s ok. Just keep being you
It’s very true. She thought she was just getting involved with my husband. But she wasn’t. She invited herself into our entire world. Into my marriage. Into my children’s lives. (Our oldest two know about the affair, and all five were aware obviously during tennse times that *something* was going on. The first six months were hard around home.)
I don’t think she did it intentionally. I dont’ think she meant to hurt us. I don’t think she even thought about us. But, it obviously affected all of us. The ripple affect I call it.
I know she had feelings for him. THey were wrong, but they were there. She needed and wanted him for various reasons I’m sure, and I know it was hard for her to let him go.
But in the end, he was never hers to begin with you know? He was never going to leave me for her. If they had…NINE children would have been devastated (my five, her four). That’s one hell of a ripple affect. As it is now, it’s already hard enough to walk this journey. I can’t imagine had it ended up that way.
But, I do realize that it was hard for her.